While recovering from surgery, I have had the opportunity to have large amounts of time for scripture study and General Conference review. Throughout the study, two themes have seemed to jump out to me: my dependence upon the Lord and my purpose in life as a Melchezidek Priesthood bearer. In particular, the latter of the two has really made an impression upon my heart and soul.
When I look at my life, I see so many blessings. I have so many reasons to be grateful. I should be in thanksgiving every day, as President Uchtdorf mentioned a few General Conference sessions ago. But I also see so many areas for improvement.
In Alma 13, Alma and Amulek are comparing the Holy Priesthood of God to the priestcraft that the people had been following there in Ammonihah. Throughout the chapter, in particular the first half of the chapter, there is laid out the purposes of the leaders of the Church. It lays out how they were chosen and what they are supposed to do within the bounds of their holy office. The one thing that stuck out to me more than anything else, was verse 2 which says, (speaking of why we have these leaders) “…that thereby the people might know in what manner to look forward to his Son for redemption.” It then goes on to talk about how their faithfulness, in a large part, merited their ordination.
The reason that that verse stuck out to me so much was that the Holy Spirt whispered to me right then and there that the prophets, high priests, and other leaders were chosen to be examples of Christ to the people so that the people would then know what kind of a person they should be looking for when Christ would come.
Then I asked myself…
“Should Christ come tomorrow, would others be able to recognize Him by going off of the example that I have set?”
…or in other words…
“Am I Christ-like?”
…or in other words…
“Am I doing what I was sent here to do?”
The overwhelming sense of guilt and shame that I felt then, I feel now. Now I know, that we depend upon Him for a reason: we’re never going to be as He was (perfect). But that’s only when you look at it from the aspect of being perfectly righteous.
As Bishnu Adhikari in “Meet the Mormons” says, “Can we not be perfect in trying?”
I believe we can.
As we continue moving forward through this life, let us be more perfect in trying to be as we should. That is really what He asks for.
Faith and Honor,
UPDATE: The doc wants me to stick around another 7 weeks or so to monitor me, so we’re looking at around Thanksgiving-time to be my return date to the mission field in Iowa.